Habits

43 years of habits, I am trying to break. Or more like 29. I think most of the bad habits I acquired happened when I started boarding school at the young age of 14. Lets just say, 3 boarding schools and 2 colleges later, I learned lots of very interesting information.  ; )  Some useful and lots not. And not to leave out my camp that I went to for 10 years that will always have my heart. (RBC!)

I did however pick up nutrition along the way. I have always always eaten VERY healthily. I would even pass on strawberries if they were not organic at the grocery store. I now think, maybe the poison in the strawberries would have kept the cancer at bay. But then I think that sounds really stupid. But yes. Very healthy.   

I think the unhealthy element of my equation is that I am a girl who likes to have fun. I am a very hard worker and a hard player as well. I am not the best with gray areas. It's either black or white. So the habits that I am now breaking are: coffee, lots of alcohol, lots (eek - I have German and Irish blood in me so have a very high tolerance), bagels, sugar and I love to dance (dancing will never stop). A little known fact . . . I was a raver for a minute. But I was more into the dance clubs/music/dancing instead of the glow sticks and pacifiers. This is where we would lose ourselves, my besties and myself, during the 90's. It helped you escape and it made you feel young again, which is hilarious since I was only in my 20's. 

Also, I could have better thoughts. Being more positive, less judge-y, more helpful and kind to less fortunate people and on and on. I do think of myself as a good, sweet Southern peach. But living in the North definitely hardened me a bit and also made me less passive aggressive. Now I just call it like I see it . . . or is this just a natural progression when you get older?  Hmmmmm . . .  

I have started meditation and visualizing the cancer moving out of my body. I am practicing positive thoughts - once I start thinking of something bad I think of something positive immediately. This will be harder than the cutting sugar and alcohol out of my system.

It takes 2 things. Well 3 including the magic pills. Healthy food, meditation and positive thinking to combat this illness, I believe, plus I have read it in every cancer book I have (12). 

I  have received so many cool and creative gifts in the past few weeks and there is a bit of a trend amongst the gifts: the old me. I am wearing oils again (frankincense & sandalwood help pain), Grateful Dead/The Doors/Violent Femmes records, hippie blankets, rocks to touch and Marijuana. All gifts that bring me back to boarding school . . . and thus we circle back.